Over the past several weeks many racist act have not gone unnoticed at the University of California at San Diego. It started out with some white fraternity guys throwing a party which they named the Compton Cookout. Essentially the theme of the party encouraged party-goers to dress “ghetto”, which as they described included wearing chains, cheap clothes, gold teeth, starting fights and speaking very loudly. Once confronted by the University community, you would think the fraternity boys would apologize and at least pretend to be ignorant. But noooooo. They create an event on Facebook calling for another Compton Cookout. Incredible.

If that wasn’t enough, emails and notes were found referencing lynching and that “they” (people of color) were ungrateful n-word.  To top it all off a noose was found in the library, in which a female student later confessed to putting there. She claimed that she had no idea that it would be problematic.

Wow. Now I know where Fox News should recruit for interns. They are unapologetic and proud of their bigotry.

On the other hand many of the students of color and white allies at the University responded with calm but purposeful action. They held University officials accountable to take some long needed action as the enrollment rates of students and faculty of color hit abysmal levels. The University agreed to take action to many of the demands.

I should not be surprised at such outwards acts of racial defiance. That’s some of my own white privilege that gets in the way of seeing things as they are, not as I would like them to be. White privilege makes it easier  to look at the racist behavior of some white frat boys as immature stupidity instead of first going to the place of the fear and anger that many of the students of color must be experiencing.

Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh get ready because you have some serious competition headed your way.

Recently I found myself on the phone for over 55 minutes dealing with “customer service” for a problem with a product I purchased. During this very frustrating period I spoke with two different agents, both of whom spoke with an accent, which made it challenging for me to understand what they were saying. As the conversation progressed I often found myself asking the agent to repeat what he had just said and reminded myself that my Boston accent was probably no easy task for him to decipher either. Now, for those of you who have spent time trying to get assistance from a real live human being over the phone, it can be a lesson in patience and persistence.

By the time you have actually connected with someone you are already annoyed for having pressed forty three buttons just to be placed on hold for what seems to be an eternity. When you finally get to speak to a human, the last thing you want to d is to let them go and start the entire process over. With this in mind, the agent and I both muddled through for as long as we could. In the end, I asked to speak with another agent and was connected to a person with a similar accent to the person with whom I had just spoke. Either I was experiencing some karmic payback or there was a very good chance that the call center was in another country.

Later, I reflected on what had taken place, am I racist because I was frustrated at not being able to understand the agent and asked to be transferred to someone else? Would others judge me to be racist or ethnocentric? Or, is it okay just to be frustrated and not have to make it bigger than that?

Not understanding someone’s accent does not make you racist. However, too often our frustration of other people’s accents give way to racial or ethnic stereotypes which reveal racist attitudes and beliefs. Such statements as, “If they are going to live here they should learn the language”, or “They should go back to their own country” are comments said out of frustration yet have racial undertones. Two thoughts on these comments.

First, it is always helpful for people who reside in the United States to learn English. However, this doesn’t happen overnight and even when they learn English they will still speak with an accent. The irony is that many Americans can only speak one language and the people they are ridiculing are usually multi-lingual. Yet the racial/ethnic underlying assumption is that they must be stupid because they can’t speak English or they speak with an accent. Second, with the exception of Native Americans, we are a nation of immigrants. At some point some other group was directing that very statement to your ethnic or racial group. The following are six helpful guidelines to keep in mind when speaking with people whose accent is different from your own.

1. REMEMBER WE ALL HAVE ACCENTS. Who has an accent is relative depending on who is doing the speaking, with whom and where. Accents are not limited to people from other countries. Even here in the United States there are very clear geographic accents. For instance, when I conduct speaking seminars, once I travel outside of Massachusetts, I am the one with the accent. People say they love my Boston accent and they request that I say, “I parked my car in Harvard yard”. I am asked this quite a bit because saying those words magnifies my accent. I always find this annoying. They however, find it humorous.

I find it odd that some accents are more appealing than others. Many Anglo-Americans tend to enjoy listening to people with British and French accents and are usually annoyed with Spanish and Indian accents. I am unsure if there is a correlation between the accents we find acceptable and race, but it is a fair question to ask. Also, the more you engage the person, the more familiar you become with their accent and the easier it is to understand what the other is saying. Yet many of us tend to avoid people whose accent is difficult for us to understand. Perhaps it is uncomfortable for us or it takes too much time and energy so it is easier just to avoid interacting. Thus, we do not create the time needed to forge a meaningful exchange.

2. BE PATIENT. Both people engaged in the conversation want to have a successful exchange. It’s okay if you let them know that you are having difficulty in understanding them and would appreciate if they could repeat themselves in order for you to understand better. If you do experience frustration, take a deep breath to calm yourself. It is important to make the distinction between being frustrated at the situation and being frustrated with the person.

3. CREATE A CLIMATE OF MUTUAL RESPECT. Assessing someone’s intention and attitude happens very quickly. Taking the time and effort to create a comfortable and respectable climate will make a connection less challenging. Kindness is always appreciated.

4. AVOID SLANG. Americans have a love affair for slang and use it more than we realize. For people whose native language is not English this may add to their confusion. If you do use slang, explain it to the other person as it will increase their English speaking competency.

5. SPEAK SLOWER NOT LOUDER. At times our frustration may have us speaking much louder than our usual conversation level. This will not result in having the person understand you any better, in fact, it can be upsetting. People who are multi-lingual need time to translate the conversation they are having with you in English to their native language. Speaking slower gives them time for this transition.

6. LEARN THEIR NAME. The most important word for every person regardless of their language is their name. Yet one of the most challenging parts of communicating across accents is pronouncing names. Both people engaged in the conversation may have names that are not common in the other person’s culture. As a result, many of us pretend we understand by nodding our heads, but never use their given name ever again and use the default setting of, “Hi, how’s it going?”. At this point we may assign them a nickname for the sake of our convenience.

Learning people’s name is vitally important. It is perfectly acceptable to ask them to repeat their name, but please remember that they are probably asked this quite often so if you notice some frustration be patient. You may even ask them to spell it if it is an appropriate setting so that you have it for future reference. Personally, I write down the name as I hear it phonetically.

Today’s global economy has us interacting and doing business with people from all over the world. Often we find ourselves interacting with people whose first language is not English and our communications and interpersonal skills may be tested. It is beneficial for us to fine tune our skills in order to have successful interactions both personally and professionally.

Check out this clip of Stephen Colbert which he addresses Sarah Palin’s explanation of the double standard of the use of the word retard when used by Democrats and by Republicans. He also catches Palin writing cheat notes on her hand after making fun of the President for using a TelePrompTer.  Good for a laugh…

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/264042/february-08-2010/sarah-palin-uses-a-hand-o-prompter

Sarah Palin says she would consider a run for the Presidency if things lined up just right. This is great news for Democrats. I hope she realizes that she can’t just quit the Presidency like she did being governor.

Controversy has erupted over the use of the term Negro for the new U.S .Census. The term conjures up a period in our collective history that overtly supported separate and unequal treatment of Black people. I don’t know whose bright idea this was but what I do know is that they did not do enough research in the land of common sense.

The confusion as to the inclusion of Negro is further compounded by the fact that the terms African American and Black are also included on the form. There is a distinction in the terms Black and African American. Not everyone who is Black is African American. Yet the term African American is suppose to be symbolic of the strides that have been made with regard to racial eqality. That road to equality is a long one, but the return of the term Negro sanctioned by our government won’t help us get there any quicker.

Portugal just became the sixth European nation to legalize same-sex marriage. This from a country that is almost 85% Catholic. Americans just are not as progressive as we think. Monday is a very historic day as the fight for equal rights and same-sex marriage is taken to the Federal Courts. Read below and stay tuned…

The following was taken from a page posted on Facebook.

FEDERAL Court accepts challenge of PROP 8
For the first time in our nation’s history, same-sex marriage has made its way into the federal courts, and the moment is approaching.

The court case is called Perry v. Schwarzenegger and a great current article describing many details of what is to come can be found here: http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/tag/perry-v-schwarzenegger

For the first time in the United States’ history, same-sex marriage will be mentioned, let alone debated, by the federal courts– it basically will make it straight to supreme court after its obvious pass-along through all lower courts preceding.

Let me break it down for you:

WHO: Ted Olson and David Boies are high-profile lawyers (who worked the Bush v. Gore 2000 opposing one another) representing two same-sex couples who were denied the right to marry.

WHAT: Olson and Boies are challenging proposition 8’s federal constitutionality and believe that it should be repealed. “This unequal treatment of gays and lesbians denies them the basic liberties and equal protection under the law that are guaranteed by the Fourteenth Amendment of the United States Constitution,” their suit states.

WHEN: January 11th, 2010 is the set date to begin (keyword=begin these court cases will not nearly be completed over night).

WHY: To finally work our way to full equality rights for all under the law one day at a time.

CONTROVERSY: Some say this is much too soon and that we need to enter the federal issue slowly (as in Brown v. Board, if he had went in any sooner than he did, he most likely would not have won the case). ACLU and other advocacy groups tried to intervene and prevent this lawsuit, unfortunately they were denied any intervention and the case is set to trial. The two prominent lawyers are confident it will pass, so since this is the direction our movement is heading we NEED TO support and back them up 100%!!

FACT: 70% of our nation was opposed to interracial marriage when Loving v. Virginia passed! It’s time to hold hands and hope our highest courts do the right and constitutional thing.

The New Jersey state Senate has dealt equal rights a blow with the rejection of same-sex marriage. With a 20-14 vote, NJ becomes another state where we were so close but now it becomes another setback.

Some are suggesting that we should shift the focus away from same-sex marriage due to recent losses and instead put our energy and resources into civil unions. Although I can understand the rationale of trying to get more states to sign on to the more moderate and less scary civil unions it wreaks of our past failures as a nation, separate but equal. Of course there was never anything equal about that policy. It was wrong then and it is wrong now.

What do you think? Weigh in with your vote…

Wow, talk about Christian privilege and arrogance. Brit Hume, another of Fox News gems (yes, that is sarcasm), is doling out some non-solicited advice to Tiger Woods on how to make a total recovery from his recent life events by turning to Christianity.

Here’s what Hume had to say…
“The extent to which he can recover seems to me depends on his faith,” Hume said. “He is said to be a Buddhist. I don’t think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. My message to Tiger would, ‘Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.”

This is wrong on so many levels. First, who in the world does he think he is to suggest that Christianity is the way to go when there are so many Christian leaders and Christian preachers who have done exactly as Tiger by committing adultery? If he were to follow that line of thinking then Tiger should just apologize, lay low and give it time. After all, it worked for many other adulterers, many who are Christian. So maybe Christianity is not the solution and according to Hume nor is Buddhism.

Second, the arrogance that there is only one road to Tiger’s salvation and of course that road goes through the church. In fact, maybe religion has nothing to do with Tiger’s bad decisions and choices. Maybe, just maybe he has to figure his own way out of the mess he created. And perhaps there is more than one right way to do that.

A McDonald’s in Orlando, FL refused to hire a 17 year old youth once they found out she was transgender. The person who interviewed Zikerria Bellamy not only refused to hire her but went as far as to leave a very offensive and vile message on her machine stating that they “don’t hire faggots”.

Florida permits discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, so as of today what this manager did at McDonald’s is not illegal. However, the Florida Human Rights Act prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex and disability. Perhaps the state will step up to the plate and make this right. I am awaiting news as to what, if anything, will happen with the clown whose behavior was entirely inappropriate and hateful.

You can listen to the actual message the manager left Zikerria at this link:  Zikerria Bellamy McDonald’s Voicemail Message …