It has become increasingly clear that white women are becoming the mouthpiece for the conservative movement. Sarah Palin is their greatest cheerleader and fundraiser as she jets around the country raising money for organizations and candidates who have demonstrated racist values and beliefs. Dr. Laura Schlesssinger’s recent racist rant is indicative of just how easy it is for white women to get away with such ignorant statements and not think twice of the harm being inflicting. In her national radio address, she uses the N-word with such ease that it was repulsive to listen to. It is total BS that she tries to condone her ignorance by saying it was used merely as an example. Saying the N-word once would have been bad enough, but to say it repeatedly is unacceptable.

Let’s draw a parallel yet imperfect analogy. Think of the ramifications if a male radio host told a female caller she was over-reacting because she gets uncomfortable when her husband’s friends and family continually make sexist remarks or jokes and her husband doesn’t do anything. Then the male radio host repeatedly uses the term cunt during his conversation with such ease you would think he uses that term on a daily basis.  What his intention is in using this filthy and inflammatory word is irrelevant. What he needs to focus on is how is behavior may be impacting the female caller.

I say this is an imperfect analogy because the C-word does not have the historical significance and power as the N-word.

There were so many things Schlessinger said that indicates that she hasn’t any idea of the privilege she possesses.

Here are a few bits of advice I have for Dr. Laura and others who might support her. This is from another white woman who passionately disagrees with the vile comments which spewed from her mouth.

1. Why can black people use the N-word and it not be a big deal but when white people say it they are called racist? It is a question that many whites ask but do not take the time to really listen. So let’s make it simple. For those of you who have siblings, I trust there have been times when you have made fun of them or used derogatory language towards them. The thinking is because they are in your family you can get away with it. However, if someone outside your family uses those same words to describe your siblings you get upset and outraged at what they have said. Why? Because if you are not in the family then just don’t go there.
2. Telling someone they are being oversensitive means that you may not have an adequate grasp of the situation the other person is experiencing. Usually it is just not one thing that has a person “over-reacting” in your perspective; it is a buildup of experiences, sometimes over years. Being called derogatory racist things such as the words used by Schlessinger is somewhat common place unfortunately. It’s also the racist jokes that the caller, Jade, had described as being upsetting to her. It’s the everyday indignities and the lifetime of oppressive systems.
3. Some white people seem to believe that as long as they didn’t mean for their words or actions to be racist then people of color shouldn’t get upset. That’s white privilege. What we choose not to focus on is the constant impact that folks of color have to endure. If someone steps on your foot accidently but they didn’t mean to hurt you does that mean that your foot doesn’t hurt? Of course it hurts. Let’s say that four more times that day different people step on that same foot. By the end of the day you probably have little patience or compassion for the person who is causing you pain. That’s one day in your life. Now imagine a lifetime of being stepped on so to speak. A harmless joke, the use of a certain word, acts of exclusion, can cause people great harm. They are not overreacting rather they are tired of being hurt.
4. The predictable and pathetic apologies after the bad behavior is infuriating. Perhaps if she wasn’t as mean spirited as she demonstrated that day, an apology would feel more genuine. Part of the privilege of being white means that we can get away with a slap on the wrist and are permitted to continue on.

Dr. Laura, people call you to solicit your help and your knowledge. You could have gained insight and knowledge of the experience Jade was sharing but you just didn’t listen. Your actions demonstrated you still have a lot to learn.